For the latest in our series spotlighting the women shaping film and television, we spoke with Erica Mae McNeal, a Colorado-raised, LA-based actress who moved west with her life packed in the back of her mom's car and a head full of Hollywood dreams. She talked to us about homesickness and best friends, the leap from stage to screen, and how theatre quietly pulled her out of one of the hardest periods of her life.
The industry has made it so women from all walks of life have to work twice as hard to reach the place their male counterparts are already at, and even then they're not given the same respect or the same chairs at the table.
You were born and raised in a small town in Colorado but moved to Los Angeles for college. What was that transition like, and how did it feel to chase this dream so far from home?
It was an emotional rollercoaster, honestly. My mom and I drove from Colorado to California with all my stuff in the back of her car. I was so excited to move to Los Angeles, and I was definitely romanticising what my life would be like here, how many celebrities I'd see in the first week. I didn't see any that first week, but I did see Miley Cyrus in a thrift store.
Being away from home for the first time, and so far from home, was a real mixture of emotions. I was so happy to be out here acting and studying. I've met my best friends and really found myself, but it was hard when I got homesick and couldn't just walk to the next room to see my sisters. Still, every day I wake up in LA gives me a little rush of excitement. It's still crazy to me that this is my life, living my dream in the city of dreams. Corny, but it truly is such an insane feeling.
You graduated with a BFA from AMDA. What was it like attending an arts college, and did being surrounded by like-minded peers help kickstart your career?
I really loved being around performers every day. I did miss the sports other schools have, but being surrounded by theatre and the performing arts was a dream. I met my best friends and so many kickass people, and they've all helped me become more comfortable with myself and find the things that really speak to me.
Being around so many creatives, even after college, has continued to push me to make my own content and scripts. It's also so helpful when I feel unmotivated. Every performer, unfortunately, gets that feeling of "ugh, am I even supposed to do this? Is this the right path?" It's like Mia's monologue in La La Land. But having friends who know exactly what that feeling is, so you don't have to feel silly expressing it, is everything. They motivate me to keep going, and I do the same for them. They're a great support system.
You've been performing from a young age, with a lot of your work rooted in theatre. How different do you find acting on stage versus on camera?
Oh geez, going from theatre to film was tricky. In theatre, you're used to projecting and making your movements bigger than real life so the last seat in the house can see and hear you. Going from exaggerated expressions and voice to the smallest glance being so noticeable on camera was a fun thing to learn.
On stage, I feel so comfortable, so myself. It's easy to lose yourself in the play or musical because it really is just you, your scene partner, your props, and the set. You can't see the audience; you can only hear their reactions, and even then you don't focus on that. With film, it's still you and your scene partner, but now there's also this big camera right next to you, C-stands and lighting rigs everywhere, and a handful or a ton of people behind it making sure everything looks great. At first it was hard not to focus on all of that, but the more I got used to it, the easier it became to lose myself. One time I was so locked in with my scene partner that when the director called cut, I didn't realise some of the crew had come out to watch. I was like, "woah, where did you guys come from?"
In another interview, you described going from a grocery store shoot to, twelve hours later, screaming about zombies attacking LA. What's the most surreal or ridiculous thing this job has asked you to do?
Oh geez, that was a crazy two days! We wrapped the grocery store shoot around six or seven in the morning, and I had to book it from Pomona to Hollywood by 8:30, in crazy traffic, on a crazy all-nighter.
The silliest thing I've had to do was act opposite a scene partner who was in a penis blow-up costume. We filmed it a few months ago, and I still crack up. In rehearsal, my scene partner, the director, and I could not keep straight faces; we were cracking up non-stop trying to run what was actually a really emotional break-up scene. But the most surreal thing about this job is getting to watch actors I grew up seeing on TV act in real time. I'll be on set studying how they prep for each take, the different ways they get into character. It's like being back in school.
What's the most memorable performance you think back on and smile?
A short film I worked on a little over a year ago in San Francisco. It was the first project I'd ever been flown out for, which made me feel so cool. I got to stay with my sister and drive into the city every day to film in this gorgeous museum. I knew the character was going to be a challenge to get right, and I was stoked because I love a character with a bit of a challenge. It pushes me as an actor and creatively. Without giving spoilers, this character is like an introduction to a dream role I really want to play. Everyone involved was so great, and I can't wait for people to see it.
You've said you use acting as a form of therapy. Could you elaborate on what that means for you?
Definitely, acting and theatre can really be a form of therapy. I actually started acting because I needed an outlet. I was very depressed in middle school and high school, and when my sister told me to check out the theatre department, I was hesitant; it was something new, with people I didn't know. But the more classes I signed up for and the more productions I did, the more I found myself.
When I started, I just wanted to not be myself for a few hours. I wanted something I could do without judgment or feeling dumb, and strangely, by being a character, by being someone else for a bit, I was able to truly be myself, if that makes sense. I'd find myself making bolder choices, taking up space and not feeling bad about it, things that would scare me in real life but came easily as someone else. The more comfortable I got making those choices for a character, the more I started doing it in my own life. Theatre really helped me break out of my shell.
There's one memory I'll always get a little teary-eyed about. During college orientation, there was this dance night, maybe thirty people in a small dance room, and Bohemian Rhapsody came on. Everyone was dancing their hearts out and belting the lyrics, not caring whether it looked or sounded good. I was dancing too, but worried about looking weird or doing something wrong, and then I looked around and something in me just went, "No one cares. Everyone is doing their own thing, so just have fun." And I did. I screamed those lyrics and jumped around with my friends. A bunch of random theatre kids made me realise it's okay to be silly and to have fun.
I just wanted to not be myself for a few hours. And strangely, by being someone else, I was able to truly be myself.
Have you faced any struggles in the industry as a woman of color?
Thankfully, I haven't faced many, though so many women of colour face struggles every day, and I want to be clear about that. I'm very fortunate not to have experienced discrimination in this industry, but it absolutely still happens to women of colour, in front of and behind the camera. The industry has made it so women from all walks of life have to work twice as hard to reach the place their male counterparts are already at, and even then they're not given the same respect or the same chairs at the table. I'm hopeful that the more people talk about it, the more others will become aware and support women-led projects.
They say the film industry is all about who you know. Has that been true in your experience?
I think it's quite true. You can book jobs and get through doors without knowing anyone, but those connections really help, and it doesn't even have to be anything huge. Becoming friends with people on set can lead you to your next job, or an introduction to someone who takes your career to the next level. Something I filmed last Saturday happened because a director friend wrote a scene and asked me to be in it. A table read I have tomorrow is another director friend's project that she had me in mind to lead. The people I've met in LA and on set have helped me find my next job, and I do the same for them. If I know someone's looking for a killer AD, I know exactly who to refer. It's about helping your circle succeed and making sure you all get your flowers.
Is there anything else you'd love to share, a dream, a project, or a message for other young women trying to make it?
My message would be to keep going. It's not an easy career; it will make you cry and get you down, but keep pushing. Your time will come, and your story will be told. There are lows, but there are some pretty great wins too. Don't feel discouraged, and don't compare your path to anyone else's. Your path is yours for a reason.
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Daria Ershova
Daria Ershova
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